I recently visited the beach as I was feeling de-energised, confused and stressed out about a bunch of things. So much is always going on. One minute everything is moving at too fast a pace for me, the next minute things aren’t moving fast enough. Most of us strive for balance and peace in life and I’m sure that we have all, at some point, felt like it is impossible to achieve.
So, after staring at an endless ocean for about an hour and breathing in some fresh air, I made some conclusions, added a few pieces to my missing puzzle and came up with 8 notes for myself and anyone who feels like there is no light at the end of the tunnel.
Note 1 – Take a minute:
Firstly, let me start off by saying it is important to take a minute to breathe, when dealing with an overwhelming situation. Just stop! Stop everything you are doing, shut out everything you are saying to yourself and everything you are thinking about.
We struggle to understand that overthinking ruins us. It ruins the situation, it makes us over-worry, it makes things appear to be way worse than they actually are. I am probably the worst ‘overthinker’ I know, as sometimes I even overthink my overthinking. Sometimes the worst place to be in is your own head and you may be creating problems that aren’t there.
Think about it! Or maybe don’t!
Note 2 – Opinions are not facts:
People’s opinion of you doesn’t define who you are. What people think about you, shouldn’t be any of your business. Believe me, the day you stop caring about what other people think, will be the most liberating day of your life.
Of course, this isn’t easy to achieve. None of us want to be the ‘weird’ one, the ‘odd’ one out, but if we spend our lives trying to be ‘accepted’ and ‘approved of’ by others, we will never show up for life. We will be too busy living a life shaped by other people’s opinions.
Note 3 – Accept You:
Have you accepted yourself for who you are?
I spend so much time thinking about the trillions of things that I did wrong, the things that I believe I can’t do, the things I will never get to be. But honestly, that hasn’t gotten me anywhere, other than the beach near my house, overthinking, again.
If you also spend a lot of time sabotaging yourself, then stop. Stop hating yourself for everything you aren’t and start loving yourself for everything you already are. You are beautiful and you are exceptional. You have qualities that not everyone has and you have traits and strengths that make you unique. Don’t take them for granted.
When I was younger, everyone used to say I was so ‘sensitive’ and it made me feel like that was a weakness. I used to dislike being sensitive. I thought it made me weak. But now I know that if you take away that single trait, you take away the very essence of who I am. You take away my conscience, my ability to emphasise, my intuition, my creativity, my eye for detail. You take away my deep appreciation for the little things, my vivid inner life, my keen awareness of others’ pain and my passion for it all.
So if you can accept who you are, and view all your traits as a strength, you become so powerful.
Note 4 – Think Positive:
We all have our down days. The days when simply getting out of bed is a struggle, when everything seems to be going wrong. But sometimes, all it takes is a small change in the way we think. It is important that we put our ‘positive pants’ on, and that we insist on fighting through our daily battles, with courage and dedication.
Positivity is a choice. Remind yourself every day that you are in charge of your happiness and for adjusting your way of thinking. Nothing outside of yourself should control you. Being positive requires developing self-discipline and time. Train yourself to see the good in everything. The happiness of your life depends on the quality of your thoughts. Change thoughts step by step and celebrate all your small victories. Be grateful for what you have at this moment in time – a grateful heart is a magnet for miracles.
‘When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change’.
Focus on the powerful, euphoric, magical, synchronistic, beautiful parts of life, and the universe will keep giving the to you. Keep moving and believe that everything is going to turn out just perfectly. The light at the end of the tunnel is not an illusion. The tunnel is!
Note 5 – Set wise goals:
Top-level athletes, successful business-people and achievers in all fields, set goals. Goals are useful as they focus your acquisition of knowledge and help you to organise your time and resources, in order to produce you results and self-satisfaction.
However, it is vital to think about the goals you set for yourself. Are these feasible? Do they lead you somewhere worthwhile? Are they what you truly need?
Set wise goals. One of my goals is to be filthy rich: Rich in adventure, in health, in knowledge, in laughter, in family and in love. I am also focused on being pretty: Pretty kind, pretty funny, pretty smart, pretty strong. Because these are the things that make me truly happy.
There’s no time to be bored or unhappy in a world like this, so set goals that keep you motivated and happy.
Note 6 – Be selective:
Being selective is not about being picky. It’s about deciding to surround yourself with people who inspire you and no longer allowing for people to drain you or bring you down. Be disciplined about what you respond and react to. Not everyone or everything deserves your time, energy and attention.
Close some doors. Not because of pride, incapacity or arrogance, but simply because they no longer lead somewhere. Decide that from now on, you no longer have energy for meaningless friendships, forced interactions or unnecessary conversations.
Note 7 – Love:
There is no greater force than love. Love purifies the soul, it cleanses us from selfishness, it encourages forgiveness, it fills our hearts with joy.
Love what you do, love who you are, love where you go in life, but most importantly love those around you. If you love someone, show them don’t just tell them. Love them hard and unconditionally, appreciate them, as one day they will be gone.
And remember love is many things, but it is never deceitful. Nothing toxic should come from genuine love. Love is about giving, not taking, having or possessing. Love should make feel you happy, fulfilled, triumphant.
Note 8 – Good things take time:
My last note is a message to myself and anyone reading this: Stop ‘beating’ yourself up. You are a work in progress – which means you get there a little at a time, not all at once’.
Don’t think about where you are now, think about where you want to be. If you feel stuck or lost in darkness, remember that light will ray in eventually. There is light at the end of the tunnel! As long as you’ve got passion, faith and are willing to work hard, you can do anything you want in this life.
‘Through darkness comes light, through fear comes love and through pain comes triumph’.
Brittney Moses writes ‘You have to stop confusing a season for a lifetime. You have to stop thinking you’ll be stuck in your situation forever. Even your trials have an expiration date. You will grow, you will change, things will work out’.
Life is a journey to success. As you travel the road of success, don’t be blinded by the light at the end of the tunnel.